The Evening I Stopped Looking for More.

Journal 002

There was a time when I felt as though I was constantly chasing.

Chasing a cleaner house.

A more beautifully decorated home.

More time.

More money.

Trying to keep on top of the housework, get everyone where they needed to be, fit in a food shop, decide what was for tea and somehow still find a little time for myself.

It felt endless.

Then, whenever I opened social media, everyone else's lives seemed so effortless.

Their homes looked spotless.

Every room was beautifully styled.

They always seemed to have the time, the money and the energy to make everything look... perfect.

Without realising it, I started believing that my own home wasn't enough.

One evening, after another busy day, I walked through my lounge and out towards the garden.

As I reached the door, something made me stop.

I looked up at one of the large plants growing on the bank.

Its bright green leaves stood against the most incredible blue sky.

For just a moment, everything else disappeared.

The list of jobs.

The decorating I hadn't done.

The washing waiting upstairs.

The thoughts about money.

The comparison.

It was just me, that splash of green, and a beautiful evening sky.

And I felt...

Balanced.

That moment changed something in me.

It made me realise I'd been spending so much time looking at everything I thought my home wasn't that I'd forgotten to notice everything it already was.

My home wasn't failing me.

I was simply looking in the wrong direction.

Since then, my idea of a "perfect home" has completely changed.

Of course, I still enjoy a clean and tidy space.

But I've learned that a little mess usually means a home that's being lived in.

A blanket left on the sofa means someone was comfortable.

A pair of shoes by the door means someone has just come home.

A favourite mug on the table means someone took a moment to pause.

Those things don't make a home imperfect.

They make it real.

If you're reading this while wondering whether your home measures up, I'd love to leave you with one thought.

Please don't overthink it.

Don't convince yourself that what you have isn't enough.

Slow down.

Look around.

Ask yourself what you already love about your home.

Then start there.

You might just discover, as I did, that the feeling you've been searching for has been quietly waiting for you all along.

Until next time,

Michelle 🌿